I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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