I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize
