she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
farters have to be the big spoon...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
