I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
