The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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