We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
