I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize