DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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