There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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