That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize