wakey wakey hands off snakey
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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