Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
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Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
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Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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