I look better un-naked...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
