proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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