just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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