so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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