i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Dear god my vagina.
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