Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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