Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
