Midget sex pt 2 tonight
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
