windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
