Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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