a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I got inside last night via doggy door
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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