well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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