Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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