you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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