just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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