I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
