Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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