that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
