she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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