I want to have your abortion
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
