operation harelip BJ is a go
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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