Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
