When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
