we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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