i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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