I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize