He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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