There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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