i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
