I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
