If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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