Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
