Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
