I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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