just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
