I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
