Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
wat bout pragnant strippers??
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
