i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
