You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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