I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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