She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
