Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
