This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
