I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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