He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
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How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
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he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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