Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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