I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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