So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Are we still banned from the library?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
