Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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